Now let's get this straight, I've never been a big fan of cows. I always found them to be a relativley brainless quadruped whose acomplishments included producing large quatities of milk, being delicious at times, and contributing significantly to global warming by exuding methane. Coming to India though has only really inflmaed things though. Here's 4 good reasons I find myself hating cows.
1. Traffic- Cows are a traffic nuiscance. They cause jams all the time slowly lumbering from garbage heap to garbage heap. Also, if you look on the US State Dept. website they advise fleeing from the scene of an accident if it involved injury or death to a cow because mobs of hindus may beat of kill you.
2. Shit- They poop everywhere. The frustrating thing is that living in India, you aready have to avoid stepping in human and canine feces. However, huan and dog shit is relativley small compared to the dinner-plate-sized plops that polkadot alleyways and roads.
3. You Never Know- You just can't tell when a cow will go nuts. Sarah tried to pet one and it swungs its horns at her. Being in very close proximity to the animals there is always the fear of being kicked as well.
4. A Personal Attack- This clearly is the best reason why cows are a menace. Today one was barreling through an alley and almost stepped on my foot. Unacceptable.
In reality, the real problem with the cows is just thier numbers. In Chennai, thier relative scarcity makes them less of an issue, but in cities like Delhi and Varanasi it's out of hand. One fun fact about Delhi is hat there are Public Service Announcements urging you not to use plastic bags because cows die when they eat too many. The Indian bovine is a menace and I may just exact my revenge on the entire species when I get state-side by sitting down behind a nice burger.
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